My Drug

m/m implied

The moving mass of bodies, sweating, screaming, crying and singing along. All the energy of the audience, the fans, directed at me – us. It adds something, awakens something within me that makes it easier to play, easier to sing.

And there’s you. You play your bass like you were born with it in your arms. Eyes closed, head tilted back slightly, your tall lean body moving with the rhythm, the melodies you create. You are my drug, the only thing that keeps me going in this sometimes mad world. With you next to me on stage I could go on forever and ever. Continue reading



Girls can’t carry weapons, they said. Aren’t allowed to hunt, to kill: it’s against tradition. Girls should create life, have babies. Words spoken by her grandpa years ago. When the world was okay and tradition was the way to live.

Not anymore. First the droughts came, then the animals disappeared. People starved. Hunters left to find food and never returned, leaving only the women, girls and young boys.

Nocking an arrow, she aimed and loosened. The deer would feed her people for a little while. And she’d have milk for her baby girl. The new generation, with a new tradition.

Have You Ever?

Have you ever loved someone so much you think your heart might burst? The ‘can’t eat, can’t sleep, reach for the stars’ kind of love? Where you feel like your world might just end if you have to spend another minute apart? Where you can’t breathe when he looks at you, can’t think straight and your knees turn all wobbly and mushy? The kind of love thousands of songs, books and films have been inspired by?

I’ve just lost mine, let him slip right through my fingers. Because I was scared, didn’t dare commit. Now he’s married to someone else.


I lie curled up in bed, snuggled as far under the covers as I can manage. But still I’m cold, my feet are freezing, goosebumps all over my body. No matter how much I try, I can’t get warm. Every time I have warmed the part of the bed I cover, my restlessness makes me move, which results in new chills as my body touched cold patches of sheets.

I sigh frustrated, pull the covers tighter under my chin, my knees up closer against my chest. Continue reading